Halloween Costume

So this year I decided to be Miley Cyrus, yes I said Miley Cyrus. I think it'll be hi-larious. I'm going to wear these black shorts with lace underneath these other shorts one of those "curtain-esc" shirts and a sweatshirt. Oh and I'm either gonna try to wear my brown boots with heels or my black small boots. Yea, Imma be lookin real white trash... Not that Miley Cyrus is white trash... She may be in the neighborhood but she isn't fully there yet. I'm excited. I love Halloween and the only way Imma stop trick or treating is when it gets unbelievably creepy.... Then I'll just buy all my candy. Lol. I'm excited for tomorrow night.

Jersey Shore: The Reunion

So I finally saw the reunion show for season 4 of Jersey Shore. And oh.my.god, this was like so funny and so ridiculous. The stuff that happened during the reunion definitly need to be said and it just needed to be done with. Prime example, Mike's stupid story of sleeping with Snooki. If that happened shouldn't Mike go to jail I mean he's like almost 40 and he looks like a pug that got his face smashed into a wall- we all know how much Mike loves bashing his face into walls, hahahaha. That was the only main thing that needed to be done and over with. Mike just needs to stop being a jack-face and stop being stupid. Honest to god, I think everyone is sick and tired of Mike, I know I am.

Lets get this done with

So it's time to get all of this junk off my chest, time to set everything down on the table.

I've had a pretty good childhood, at least until fourth grade. I was happy. We went out to dinner like once a week, we did blockbusters every weekend and then Hersey Park twice a year. I had a pretty good childhood. At least up until fourth grade, I just remember being teased for not shaving my legs and being laughed at for my ezima (spelling wrong) and other skin issues. Then came fifth grade, where my parents with the help of my Aunt and Uncle sent me to a Private Catholic School called Sacred Heart, or what I like to call Hell, here I felt so ackward, finally a predominatly white school you would've thought I would feel so amazing. But I felt ackward, irritable and I just didn't feel included. My life was at a downward spiral especially when my mom was sent to Shepard Pratt for an eating disorder and depression. I don't think I ever cried so much in my life. Sixth grade I was feeling pretty good, kind of happy but I still didn't feel like I fit in with everyone. My mom was again sent to Shepard Pratt... Seventh grade, my mom was once again sent to Shepard Pratt, my homeroom teacher killed herself, I got a letter telling me I would either repeat seventh grade or get kicked out, and once again I didn't feel like I fit in. In eighth grade my cousin destroyed my life. She wrote one message on my friend's myspace and then everyone turned on me, oh but not because my cousin but because some stupid bratt with blonde hair decided to draw pictures of me and spread rumors of me. I spent most of my eighth grade year crying in my assistant principal's office, I lost it, I cracked, and then I ended up in therapy for a year (ninth grade). But once again my eighth grade year my mom spent it in Shepard Pratt.

Those four years destroyed my life. I spent them feeling ackward, alone and feeling so uncomfertable. I've spent four years of my life building up a wall. I don't even think this helped tear it down, I have to admit though. I got teased during these years for the dumbest things (I was laughed at for... well I just don't wanna say the word) This is my life story. This is what happened to me, though it is all I need to remember at this point in time. Enjoy learning everything about me...

Here we go.... Straigh outta Compton

I need to explain something before I really start my blog for tonight. My blog tonight is a rough copy of an essay I need to write, this is suppose to help me finally open up in my writing and hopefully, this will help me tear down the wall that I spent four years building, so here we go....

For as long as I can remember school has always been extremely hard for me, and not just academically; I have had to work harder and focus harder than most people do. I strive to do my best in school, but I have learned the hard way that my best is not my best; that no matter how hard I try it's never enough. Since fourth grade I have been teased for everything and it didn't stop till the eighth grade, where I ended up losing everything. "Personal Growth" comes from learning how to say "help me", and that asking for help has made me feel vulnerable because to me that not only shows me being or acting weak, but it made me feel like asking for help made me have to open up to someone. I have always been surrounded by people who have seemed at a higher level than myself, I had sunk lower than ever on the confidence scale, all because I didn't know how to say two words, "help me".
For the longest time I thought that asking for help was a weakness; that because other kids weren't asking for help I had some sort of problem. I have learned from almost getting kicked out of middle school because I was scared to speak up and ask a simple question. That one question was the difference between a passing grade and a failing grade.
In middle school I got laughed at for failing a religion test that my teacher put on the board, my first time ever taking a religion class and all I should've done was say help. I have sunk so low in my life because I got scared, I was worried I would be made fun of more than I had ever had in my life.
Asking for help just didn't apply to grades, it applied to kids making fun of me and calling me names, like "mustacheo". I was teased tremondously for looking the way I am and acting the way I am. I was called bad names because I acted a certain way. I didn't ask my teachers for help, I took all those names and issues onto myself. My mom was then in and out of hospitals from fifth grade till eighth grade, and I was then put into a situation where I never asked my dad or my sister to help me, I took it all onto myself.
My personal growth has been to let others help me when I truly need it, accept help when given, and to ask for help.

What makes my morning

I used to watch movies or tv shows on my DVD player but I kind of ran out of things to watch, so I started playing my Narnia CDs, (books on CD) and for the past couple mornings I've actually been kind of happy, for once not so dark and "brooding" like I usually am. I've been feeling really good and I have Narnia to thank, hahaha. I don't know what it is about the CD books that are helping my mood but I really like feeling happy in the morning. Maybe it's just that for an hour and a couple minutes I can spend my morning exploring Narnia, and living vicariously through everyone in Narnia. These CDs are amazing, I love them and I love listening to them.

Johnny Depp

I had to beat Kimberly to a Johnny Depp blog, hahaha, we have this on going contest of who is a bigger fan. Yes we are dorks. But you have to admit Johnny Depp is a pretty good actor, he is also very comedic. I have loved Johnny Depp since Edward Siccsorhands. I actually bonded with my eighth grade religion/language arts teacher because of my Johnny Depp folder. Yes, I am a dork. I am a weirdo. Hahaha.

Harry Potter

Oh good god. I can not believe Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 comes out on DVD November 11th, I am so... I can't believe that Harry Potter is offically over. When this DVD comes out it means that there will be no more Harry Potter in theaters, what will I do for my birthday! I have to say I may just end up bursting into tears November 11th. My childhood is over November 11th, I thought it would be by the time Harry Potter came out in theaters but no, my childhood is offically over November 11th, hopefully though I can get it on DVD and I can celebrate my childhood every time I watch it.

Sunday=Relaxation

So today I really didn't do a lot of homework, I did a lot of it yesterday so today I just needed to relax and "re-charge". Sometimes you just need one of those days were you don't do anything except lay in bed watching movies. So that's what I did all day. I started my day amazingly with some Goonies. And I ended my day with Camp Rock 2, yes I said Camp Rock 2, we all have our weird movies we just randomly decide to buy and watch. Hahaha. I feel better, more calm and relaxed. I feel together again. This week I just felt like I was falling. I needed this movie day, and I am so happy I took it.
This was a perfect day... I am so glad I took this day to relax.


Order of movies (Bottom to Top) The Goonies, Sydney White, Camp Rock, Camp Rock 2

My posters

All over my room I have a bunch of posters of just random things/people that I like. I tried to leave my walls looking bland considering I had painted it not too long ago but my room just felt.. creepy. It felt like I was in some sort of asylum, hahaha. I mean that sound weird, but you ever just feel like something is so bland that you need to "sauce it up"? Hahaha. Anyway, my posters represent everything I love about TV,Movies and celebrities... Though there is one picture I can't look at at night because Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter is just creepy in the dark...

Boy meets World

So I only have the first two seasons of Boy meets World on DVD and I can't stop watching it on youtube. This show is too funny. I honestly wish Mr.Feeny was either my teacher, neighbor, or principal because I think that would just be amazing. This show is too funny, I can't stop laughing when I watch it, I love Corey and Topanga together, their like an old married couple. And don't get me started on Corey's mother and father! Even though I know they are actors their relationship just looks so real! Oh gosh, this show is too funny, definitly gives That 70's Show a run for their money, at least when it comes to the comedy section of the shows!

Ew, boy scouts

So today, my parents decided to make me go to some stupid Boy Scout thing for my brother, Thomas. I honestly can’t stand not only my brother but these boys in this troop. They are the definitions of nerds, they are just so… AH! I just can’t stand the fact that I had to go, my mom told me “If I have to come, you have to come” I just laughed but honestly this whatever it is called thing was just awful. The boys are incredibly nerdy and crazy and weird. And I just can’t get over how Blech the whole thing was. Ugh, I am just so irritated that I had to go to this stupid troop thing. I don’t even like my brother, my mom said I had to go because he is going to all my Senior Events but it’s not like I told my parents my brothers HAVE to come. I said no such thing. I don’t care if they come or if they don’t come. I just wish I wasn’t forced to go to those stupid pack events. I don’t even LIKE Boy Scouts… I think the whole concept is ridiculous.. But whatever, I’m still forced to attend these stupid meetings.

AVID Class

Today in AVID we watched some video I think it was called TGIT? The guy got annoying after a while with all his hype and calling himself "ET" or whatever. But the one this I did learn from him was Never mess up only Make up. I thought that was pretty clever. Also today, though before AVID I had my first house meeting. Those kids need to learn what be quiet means though because they kept talking. I was really disappointed when I heard that most of the bad students were bad because they were acting up. That's what lunch is for! And not turning in homework or even doing it? That's what my little brother did in the seventh grade! Come on! Do the kids not realize that if you do the Classwork and the Homework you can get good grades? EFFORT EFFORT EFFORT! There was one kid (the one Thomas plans on mentoring) who wasn't called out, and I wish I did, but according to Thomas this kid is just plain stupid. DUDE! Your an athlete! Don't be a stero-typical athlete who is ridiculously dumd. ATLAS Seniors have a whole lotta work a head with this group of kids... Should we schedule tutoring sessions?

Vampire Diaries and Secret Circle

Just caught up on The Vampire Diaries and the Secret Circle from last Thursday. May I just say OMG!? Vampire Diaries Tyler died, came back as a hybrid (werewolf and vampire), Matt died, for a breif period to see his dead sister Vicki, 2 random students died. Stefan became a true "Ripper" and Katherine (Elena's double from the 1600's) and Jeremy finds the vampire vampire hunter to kill Klaus. Jermey sees dead people. More specifically his two dead vampire girlfriends while he's dating a Bennett witch. Jeez-nus do I love this show!

Secret Circle. The demon from Heather got into Melissa and she kind of went a-wall trying to open the suitcase with all the other snake demons again (I knew snakes were demons!) But at the last second when Cassie's grandma tries to help Nick ends up getting possed, threatening the life of Adam's dad. But two used-to-be witches decided to drown Nick (to kill the demon-drowning a child a little easier then setting the kid on fire to kill the demon.

These are the two types of shows I watch? LOL! Very very suspenseful stuff going on, you should see the previews for this week! Thank god we are off Friday and I can actually stay up and watch them! =]

Jersey Shore...

Don't laugh at me but I was watching the new episode of Jersey Shore and I felt ridiculously relieved! It is about darn time someone tells Mike "The Situation" to SHUT UP, STOP BEING A JERK FACE (not those words though) and TO NOT PICK A FIGHT WITH EVERY PERSON HE SEES IN A CLUB. Mike just irritated me this season, he kept causing drama and spreading rumors and just fricking irritating me. You would think when he knocked HIMSELF out he would stop the bs, but no. He was upset the roommates weren't fawning over him. Dude, YOU KNOCKED YOURSELF OUT! I am so glad Ron told him to change (meaning stop starting unnecessary stuff and stop being a jerk) OR he told Mike, to not come back next season. Personally I hope Mike doesn't come back. I mean the dude is OLD! And did you hear he got paid by Abercrombie and Fitch to NOT wear their clothes anymore? Yeah, no one likes Mike anymore.
DEAR PRODUCERS OF JERSEY SHORE,
TELL MIKE "THE SITUATION" TO LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK!
THANK YOU
A SINCER FAN =]

College Essays

I hate writing these essays. I can't get them saying and flowing the way I want them to. I want these essays to be PERFECT! I know deep down that they can't really be "PERFECT" but that doesn't mean I'm not going to work my butt off trying. It's just a little irritating when I try to write and I can't get fully "inspired". I need to be inspired to write, I need to feel something when I pick a topic and write an essay. No inspiration, my essays feel odd and they have an icky feeling about them. Yes, I said icky. It just makes... I don't know how to explain it, but my skin crawls when my essays aren't perfect. I feel like my essays can't get perfect. I am a perfectionist who needs to make sure my college essays get me where I want to be. My college essays need to be awsome, and when they can't get that way I get frusterated! Horribly, unbelieveably frusterating!

"I dislike you"

Have you ever met that person that just irritates you, gets under your skin and just p's you off? Sadly, I have to admit that's my 13yr old brother. He drives me beyond crazy. Everything he does just irks me and I can't explain why, he doesn't understand what "leave me alone" and "stop" means. He drives me crazy, he never stops he has a really big condescending attitude towards everything I say and do AND on top of that the kid just does stuff that I'm like aren't you suppose to be smart? I don't know he irks me, I don't know why, but everything he says and does I'm just appalled by and I just don't know how to explain how much I dislike this child. My dad keeps saying I'm going to make him hate me but honestly? The kid already drives me crazy, you know when you hug family you feel like family? With this kid once in a blue moon when he does ask for a hug? I just feel nothing. Emptiness? How bad is that? When you feeling nothing for your brother? That's not good at all. Especially when you... dislike your brother...

Loosen Up?

Did you ever think there was more to someone then what they really show? Today, I was sadly told that I need to "loosen up" more. But to be completely fair, I am this way because this is how I know I can "focus" in school. This way I know I will get out of my house asap. I don't remember what it was like to have fun, I hate seeming like a bully to my brothers and I can't explain my reasons for doing so other than saying I have to admit I try to get them to "toughen up". My brother said to me "Cowards survive." But Cowards only survive because their wuss' I was a Coward and I regret being one. Cowards are bullied, harassesed and end up in some form of therapy for it the rest of their lives. I don't know how to loosen up, I am no Coward anymore, I am a stiff un-fun and boring person. This is who I am. I have learned to "toughen up" and plan on making my brothers learn to "toughen up" One has already been suspended three times for some form of bullying. I do not believe in Cowards, I do not believe in loosening up because if I loosen up... Well I'm not sure, I just don't know how to loosen up. I don't know how not to be mean and rough to my brothers. I know how to be nice but to me you earn my "niceness" you do not get it. You only earn it. Do my brothers earn it? One of them does, the other? Well when he stops being a condescending jerk to me maybe so. But see my dad thinks it's all me, if I "ignored" him he would stop, if I stop telling him to "stop" he'd stop. He hasn't stopped since he learned to talk. I am a nice person. I can be a nice person. But I'm not afraid to be a total... to someone. My brother feels he can be incredibly irritating, rude, and unbelieveably and annoyingly a smart... he finds it funny and he finds it clever.

"No one can make you inferior unless you give them consent." Eleanor Roosevelt said this, my only problem with this is that sometimes some people can make you feel inferior when they are an annoying smart...

I can't stand my brother, I feel like I can't loosen up because when I loosen up I let my guard down and when I let my guard down he some how makes me want to burst into tears and leave. I can't stand this boy. I can't loosen up. I don't know how to loosen up and even if I did I don't know if I'd want to... Sure being stiff is kind of boring, but it keeps me focused and the more focused I can be the better for me, because that means I'm doing my best.

I need to keep this in mind.

No one can make you inferior unless you five consent.

Goodness Gracious, this is amazing

So I finished The Son of Neptune which was unbelievably unexpected and full of surprises and shockers and an amazing story line/plot, hah-aha. I couldn't put the book down after I was done all my work yesterday. I've missed books like that, I don't have enough I've read all of them! The Son of Neptune is the story of Percy Jackson's adventure in the Roman Camps, The Lost Hero (the first book) was about Jason Grace's adventure in the Greek Camp. Basically Juno/Hera made this huge gamble to stop Gaia from waking. Juno/Hera switched the two leaders of the camp to try to get them to come together. It's an amazing prequel to the Percy Jackson series and I think I may re-read The Son of Neptune to grasp the book more like I do with most books. I've missed reading books that excite me like this, I need more books hah-aha. But personally, I like the Greek camp more. The Romans are so.... Hard? I am just excited for the Third Book when the Romans and Greeks finally come together! But like I said, Greek all the way! They are so much more nicer, welcomer (if that's even a word) and gentler.

Just what I needed...

(It says Remind yourself to relax)

What I did on my day off

Today was pretty nice. Not stressful, no worry, pretty "chills". I did applications, I got the letters that specified what I needed to get done for certain schools and I started filling out some apps. The only thing that confuses the heck outta me is that darn common app website. I don't get what you're suppose to even use it for or how. After I did a lot of college-e stuff I read my new purchased book. I am also a little worried about the fact that I have not received any college acceptance letters yet, whatever... I'm not going to panic.

Grow the heck Up already

My brother is now 13 and yet he still acts like he's 8. Enough already- honestly. When I was 13 my mom was sick and in the hospital, my dad and sister were working all the time and I was left with my two brothers. I was doing so much dishes, some cooking, and making sure my brothers did what they were suppose to do. Instead my brothers sit on their butt and make me, my mom and my dad do everything for them.I told my 13 yr old brother to grow up and clean up his own gosh darn messes, I told him enough. I have no sympathy towards anything my brothers complain of, I almost flunked 8th grade so any bad grade my brothers get I just don't care. It's time for the 13 yr old to grow up and take responsibility. My darn brothers don't even understand what DO THE DISHES and dirty dishes in the sink even mean. It's time for the 13 yr old to stop having mommy daddy and big sissy clean up after them- been doing it all my life. No sympathy-what.so.ever.

Anxiety

Enough with the pity party Kennedy, time to buckle down and not randomly want to burst into tears. This has to end, we can't keep breaking down people will start thinking you are emotionally immature. Am I emotionally immature? No. I am strong, I used to be like a robot, never showed emotion unless I was in pain. No more pity party. No more whining. No more crying. No more getting frustrated over stupid things. I got to get it together. I have to get myself together, I have to prepare myself for college, I can't keep getting overly upset about stuff. It needs to end. No more pity party Kennedy, it needs to end. It needs to end now. "I'm fine, I'll be okay" needs to be repeated every day... Mind over Matter Kennedy Mind over Matter

Oh,god! Am I tired!

Today was.... First we celebrated Thomas' 13th birthday and there were a bunch of 13 yr old boys running around our house and destroying it in their path. I guess it was okay, I mean I really didn't get a lot of sleep I got home from my babysitting job midnight last night so I am still pretty tired. But I guess it was alright. I mean the things that the kids just said were ridiculous! They just made me laugh, just the things they said and everything, I just stared and was like WHAT! Did I really sound like that when I was 13? Hahaha. So to give me a pick me up I decided to go out and buy something. I bought the second book in the Last Olympian series. I am excited to read it, I am excited to see what happened to Percy when Hera switched him and Jason's place. But don't worry... I'll keep ya updated ;]

Babysitting!

So Saturday I babysat this boy, he is the cutest, funniest thing ever! Since he had an hour till bed by the time I got there we decided to relax and watch nick jr. First there was the show Olivia, which was actually pretty cute; then there was Blue's Clue's. At first I was like "Oh my gosh! I love Blue's Clue's" but then as the show kept going on I was like has it always been this pretentious? I mean seriously Steve was asking questions like if Mr.Salt has 3 apples and Mrs.Pepper has 5 how many do they have? The kid got a kick outta it but I was just like what the heck, when did this show get so patronizing. I forgot I'm almost 17 for about a half-hour. Anyway, after I got the kid to bed and checked on his baby sister I started watch regular Nick. And then the 90's came on and suddenly I felt 5 again! I watched All that and Kenan and Kal but then Doug came on and I just felt dumb watching it. I always remembered Doug as funny... But then it ended up just being kind of stupid. That right there disappointed me. All That was funny and Kenan and Kal were funny but I was mad Doug was stupid. It was disappointing.

Stupid test

Today was my psychology test. And let me say now that I am pretty positive I failed, why you ask? Because I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS STUDYING! I mean honestly! It's not even like I didn't ask my teacher what the chapter was suppose to be about! It was Chapter 3 and 4 and I told him that it took me four hours to do the vocabulary and that I didn't understand and all he said was "Review. Guys this is an AP class you just got to keep reviewing" I'm sorry but how in the world am I suppose to study something that I didn't get!? How am I suppose to accomplish and pass a test when I didn't get what I was suppose to study! I am very irritated about this test and very irritated if I didn't pass it. Which I feel like I didn't so, UGH!!!!

This is who I am...

This is who I am, overly emotional, a perfectionist and one who gets panic attacks when things don't go her way. This is me. Why can't colleges accept that? Why can't I right about who I am?

Today in AVID I broke down, I cried like a baby and got a little freaked out about the fact that I was making a scene... I was looking at my KeyStone essay prompt and lost it! I could not think of anything to write about. I could not think of anything, couldn't think of how I have accomplished anything! And that is why I lost it, because I could not think of anything, my life is not the best. My life does not have the best story plot. I am a perfectionist who has anxiety attacks with asthma who is allergic to practically everything and who can't figure out why she randomly cries when she gets frusterated.

Personally I have to say that today, it wasn't only that I had to write about accomplishments I hadn't accomplished and secondly I have to admit it was built up stress and anger and panic and worry.

I have family issues too, I got a sister who never had to open a book to study and a younger brother who passed the HSA test that after 5 tries I still can't pass. I'm tired of feeling so second best.

Thanks Carney and friends for cheering me up, I have to admit it just ended up being one of those days...

Pain, Hurt and more Hurt

These past couple of days has been ridiculously hurtful. My knees keep tightening up and my shoulder keeps cracking and my ankle decides to swell up whenever it feels like it. I'm irritated, I don't know why all these things keep happening to me, everything keeps getting messed up. I can't figure out if my body really is just trying to p. me off or if I'm sleeping a weird way or if I hurt something in both knees (?) and my ankle AGAIN, you know I joke about being a Hypochondriac and all but I think something is seriously wrong with me. I always have some issue going on and some weird stomach problem tends to happen randomly too. I am just tired of having some weird stupid issue! I'm tired of complaining about some stupid issue, I am so bored with all of this! I wish everything would stop hurting and that I could just live my life with everything. I'm tired of pain. I wouldn't mind not being able to not feel any pain. I can't go anywhere without feeling some sort of way. UGH! Pain I wish you would go away!

Oh, Music!

I went babysitting Sunday and earned $40, well now I only have $25 because I just had to get some new music. See I go through these weird phases where when I have money I either really want new music or a new DVD. Yes, I know, it's weird. But it's kind of my relief from stress, buying something just kinda relaxes me. Is that bad? ANYWAY! So what I bought: four Glee songs and Demi Lovato's new CD Unbroken which is blasting from my laptop right now. =] It's just relaxing and I love getting new music, it's fun and a little addicting going onto itunes and finding out what I should buy. But I'll probably buy another itunes card in a couple months to get new music. Right now I'm listening to Demi Lovato's Unbroken, I admire her so much for being able to come back after everything that happened with her. Her music, if you look up the lyrics is just amazing. Her voice is hypnotising.My favorite song right now is Hold Up from her CD! (lol) Now to Glee. Those songs (and I have a lot of Glee songs) are my "I'm in a bad mood and really need to cheer up" music. Recently they did something from my ALL TIME FAVORTIE MOVIE Wizard of Oz, they did ding-dong the witch is dead, and I was just like omg! I need that song! I love the Wizard of Oz!

Thank god for itunes and music because without them I think I'd be going crazy.

Family

My dad and I are ridiculous, when he knocks on my door to come into my room he knocks like Sheldon does to Penny on The Big Bang Theory. He always talks to me about how amazing Star Wars is =] and how my life is like Luke or whatever. He actually told me that the House theme song for Atlas should either be Hakuna Matata from the Lion King or the song that plays for Luke when he goes to see Jabba the Hut. I just laughed at him, and said yeah, I bet my group members would totally go along with that. Then there's the fact that we have this on going thing about who wakes who in the morning, of course I always win. My dad and I are pretty close, we went to all the Harry Potter movies together and though we do get into fights/arguments he can always make me laugh.

Today was exhausting!

So first off I've been up since 8:45pm with no nap. Then there is the fact that I was babysitting from noon to five and right now I have a killer stomach ache and I smell like a baby, I mean badly. I am exhausted, I tried to take a nap but my stomach just HURTS! Once again my stomach rules my life, it does all the time... OH! And on top of everything I have not been able to shake off the chills, I have been getting colder and colder all day. My shoulder keeps cracking when I move it a certain way and I smell like a really icky baby.... The smell is driving me crazy so I am showering as soon as this is done. Ugh, tomorrow I have my first test in Anatomy and all I really want to do is lay down in bed in a ball and miss school tomorrow to sleep, that is how tired I am ESPECIALLY because I haven't gotten a nap in for two days. So it's like all the sleep I've missed has piled up to a point where I am just ready to calapse into a heap of blankets and sleep and sleep and sleep till I can't sleep anymore.

Cinderella, Cinderella, Night and day it's Cinderella

It is ridiculous! First off I have so much psychology homework it's ridiculous then my dad walks into the room and starts talking about how I have to hold off on laundry to clean the fridge out, oh but wait see the fridge wasn't full cleaned out so now he's not too happy about that. Then there's the fact that I have two younger brothers who sit on their... all day and I get yelled at when things don't get done. And they wonder why I don't come out of my room, I get asked to do things while my brothers are at the computer. Then they saw my interim so there will be a whole lot of pressure to make my report card like that and it's ridiculous. OH! And I think my parents are secretly hoping I stay home and go to a Community College so I can stay at home and just clean so that my brothers really don't have to do anything themselves, that they (my brothers) can sit on their... watching me work and secretly enjoy the fact that I have to do everything. I even do their laundry and I clean up after them and I get yelled at when they don't help out and then told that I have to basically do. it. all! I am so tired of having to do everything all the time with no help, I am only one person! *Cinderella Cinderella Night and Day it's "Cinderella"* There's a reason I don't leave my room; I'm tired of having to do everything all the time and being yelled at when things don't go the right way. I'm so sick of being told to do something all the time, and sometimes its multiple things at once and then being yelled at when I don't get to do something! UGH!!!!!