So it's time to get all of this junk off my chest, time to set everything down on the table.
I've had a pretty good childhood, at least until fourth grade. I was happy. We went out to dinner like once a week, we did blockbusters every weekend and then Hersey Park twice a year. I had a pretty good childhood. At least up until fourth grade, I just remember being teased for not shaving my legs and being laughed at for my ezima (spelling wrong) and other skin issues. Then came fifth grade, where my parents with the help of my Aunt and Uncle sent me to a Private Catholic School called Sacred Heart, or what I like to call Hell, here I felt so ackward, finally a predominatly white school you would've thought I would feel so amazing. But I felt ackward, irritable and I just didn't feel included. My life was at a downward spiral especially when my mom was sent to Shepard Pratt for an eating disorder and depression. I don't think I ever cried so much in my life. Sixth grade I was feeling pretty good, kind of happy but I still didn't feel like I fit in with everyone. My mom was again sent to Shepard Pratt... Seventh grade, my mom was once again sent to Shepard Pratt, my homeroom teacher killed herself, I got a letter telling me I would either repeat seventh grade or get kicked out, and once again I didn't feel like I fit in. In eighth grade my cousin destroyed my life. She wrote one message on my friend's myspace and then everyone turned on me, oh but not because my cousin but because some stupid bratt with blonde hair decided to draw pictures of me and spread rumors of me. I spent most of my eighth grade year crying in my assistant principal's office, I lost it, I cracked, and then I ended up in therapy for a year (ninth grade). But once again my eighth grade year my mom spent it in Shepard Pratt.
Those four years destroyed my life. I spent them feeling ackward, alone and feeling so uncomfertable. I've spent four years of my life building up a wall. I don't even think this helped tear it down, I have to admit though. I got teased during these years for the dumbest things (I was laughed at for... well I just don't wanna say the word) This is my life story. This is what happened to me, though it is all I need to remember at this point in time. Enjoy learning everything about me...
I just want to hug you and give you a big squeeze becuase i know how it feel, to be uncomfortable and lonely. I never knew that you went through any of that and it makes me kind of happy in a way that you did because I went through some similar things that you went through and here i thought that i was all alone. I've been bullied and I to went to a catholic school and it was the worst two years of my entire life. And if you ever need anyone to talk, just call me and we can talk as long as you want. I'm here for you.
ReplyDeleteWow, this post is really powerful and I admire you for writing about something so personal. Unfortunately, I don't really know you that well and I would have never guessed you went through any of these things, you seem so calm and composed. But when things go wrong, just remember you're in Atlas and you're a leader. I know you can persevere through any obstacle that comes your way and you have all of us in your AVID family for support and to cheer you on. Stay strong<3
ReplyDeleteYou can always talk to me if you want, I can relate to these things too.